(Disclaimer: this blog is for entertainment and/or informational purposes only and shouldn’t be seen as any kind of advice, such as medical, emotional or other types of advice. If you rely on any info on this blog, it’s at your own risk.) I hate that part!
This is the process that I use to help relieve my trauma. I went from being anxious everyday to a much calmer person and a better mom! I have to be very self aware and be able to put in the work and time for best results. I tackled smaller traumas first to see how I reacted and how well my body handled it before processing bigger traumas.
Step 1: When I am triggered or after a triggering moment, depending on my mental state, I take time to sit alone in a quiet room. I think about where I feel triggered in my body (chest, arms, feet etc). I think about how my brain feels, do I feel overwhelmed, anxious, depressed etc? What caused me to feel this way? Was it money issues, confrontation, a loud noise etc? I really develop an understanding as to why I am triggered and how it is affecting me. EX. I feel heat and pressure in my chest because I am anxious after discussing finances.
Step 2: Once I feel confident in where I feel my trauma in my body, mind and what triggered it to arise, it is now time to look back in my past. When was the first time I had similar feelings? When was the first time I can remember being anxious, depressed etc.? How old was I? What was the situation? How did I feel when it first happened? What do I think my body is trying to tell me, what is it trying to protect me from? I keep rationalizing what happened from my memory and how it connects to my most recent trigger. EX. I am anxious right now because of finances and I remember being anxious as a child when my mother complained to me about not being able to pay bills. I felt out of control and like a burden. I always worried we would lose our home and we did become evicted and our cars were taken. My parents dropped the ball in protecting me and giving me security.
Step 3: This is when I rationalize with my mind and body. I recognize that others put this on me as a child or adult unfairly. That I did not deserve to be treated poorly. That I deserve kindness, and understanding and that whoever inflicted the trauma was acting from their own wants or needs etc. I realize my worth and what I offer to the world. EX. My mother unfairly put money issues on a child. I do not deserve to carry my mom’s anxiety as my own. I deserved a childhood that created a safe environment and they were not my problems to worry about. I am not going to make the same mistakes as my parents, I am not my parents.
Step 4: What helps me most is the EMDR method. After realizing why and how I was inflicted by my trauma I will process with EMDR. I will have my finger go back and forth almost like a pendulum and have my eyes follow my finger without moving my head (some do a butterfly technique on their chest instead). I do this for 30 seconds to a minute. After I do this I see if the pain in my body has moved and has my brain calmed down? If the pain has moved, I recognize where it is and think why it would move. Does it represent anything from my past? I do more of the EMDR until I feel my body is calm and settled. Ideally I should feel lighter and different. EX. When I processed my anxiety my heat in my chest moved up to my body. I felt it represented my heartache and my inability to speak my mind as a child. By the end of my session I had less heat in my body, calm and often tired.
Here is a website for reference: https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/
Step 5: Last step is I take inventory of how my body feels. Next time a moment comes up that would normally trigger me, I see how my body handles the situation. Is it still tense or am I still getting triggered? Do I feel the pain in the same spot in my body? If I am still getting triggered I have more to work through. If I feel I am not being triggered the way I was, congratulations to me, I have successfully processed trauma!
Trauma Survivors 